College Alloggins? – It’s a great idea, it is – good for you and it is fun. But the lack of a complete ‘NO’ response is a major lessening factor in an often exciting story. Saying no is sometimes the hardest option for those involved. We call it an ‘ probabilities’, an ‘ irrefutable’ point of fact. A few colleagues will argue that this ‘ing’ isn’t so clear in those n Precise terms, but say ‘no’ the above-mentioned, consistent, readable and handy option!
If you are stickler for facts for the next face-to-face or written conversation or email, use the following tips for an effective ‘yes’.
There are many tips and considerations about saying ‘no’. It may sound imperative to be polite, but fact is that there is no more accurate indicator of your future situation than your past actions. You have to live more, experience more, “live-it-to-live” or else “Live-it-to- die, or die-it-to- live”.
Don’t be afraid of hearing a ‘no’ – they’re going to be heard, because that’s what they are! You don’t have to deny your feelings to at least let them know that you can afford to say ‘no’.
Keep in mind your risk tolerance and whether your boss didn’t understand your message. Sometimes quoting your parameters is not what the intended problem is. Just again, do the wisest thing, the most pragmatic and most ethical, and speak it with a positive, non-emotional voice. Use good judgment if you don’t have a solution to the appropriate problem; for example: “He expected me to finish the presentation today, at 3PM, without an interruption. I couldn’t go that far in order to meet his time/hour/budget – and I couldn’t relate the complex user story that we were required to give in a matter of moments.”
Speaking these words is easy, it is considerably more challenging to put them into play. If you are not yet asked to play a ‘big-game-sales’ role then the discussion about your ‘in deadline’ or ‘out deadline’ may be better left away. Even those at the most senior levels need to consider whether their actions have repercussions or not. Do the right thing – model the right ethics, and be the model in your decision-making.
Dont you remember the saying “checks and balances”? Well, it’s BE fuelrent. How do you keep these between you and your boss?
Here are some fundamental points you could consider for future use:
It all comes down to…
Have a specific idea of what you want/need from the relationship.
Do your best to achieve this, and, if you are forced to negotiate, make sure that the other person is inclined to negotiate with you.
Recognise that you are giving something in order to get something.
If your boss is a line manager, you can use it as an negotiating tool, or you can use it as a break-away advice/information tool.
Feel free to offer alternatives to what you have requested, if both options are possible. (Just ensure that they give their fullest attention and offer their best efforts).
Be sure that you can make reasonable concessions if you are forced to make an offer.
If you are right about the situation, your boss could take advantage of you, or negotiate a more-than-fair- compromise for the sake of the relationship.
You should be able to raise the issue to a higher level, if necessary. Something like, ‘I have developed a proposal’ or ‘I have an opinion that I need more time on this, and hence will have to discuss it with your boss’.
Do not use the issue as an opportunity to play “the hand” with your boss’s ego, or show off. Instead, it shows them that you have been well-informed and have the view that a positive outcome is possible.
If they have any fears or reservations or concerns about the proposal, and this is something unexpected, be sure to acknowledge these as quickly as possible, and proceed to discussing them in the context of a solution (‘if you don’t find a way to make this work, I’ll need to be part of the project’).